Do you wish your child could feel happy, confident & kind, despite the chaos & uncertainty in life?
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You know how parents of sensitive, emotionally reactive, distractible children feel frustrated, guilty and more than a little worried - almost constantly?
I help those parents learn how to identify, understand and address the underlying factors that contribute to their child’s emotional reactivity, behavioural outbursts and daily conflicts so they can feel confident in supporting their child’s healing, growth and development. |
Whether they’re 18 months or 18 years old, children needs their parents’ help to make sense of their lived experiences.When parents are able to notice when a sensory experience triggers a reflexive pattern of heightened emotions, vigilance (a sense of being unsafe) and (often self-protective) behaviours AND are also able to recognize the behaviours as a child’s non-verbal attempt to communicate a primary attachment need, parents can respond with a level of confidence, competence and (most importantly) empathy to solve the real problems underlying their child’s misbehaviours.
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An infant who is uncomfortable being touched can become upset when a loving, well-intentioned parent touches them.This sensitivity can make diapering, clothing changes, feeding, play and even being held feel unsafe.
When children feel overwhelmed, they can be difficult to soothe. This is confusing for any parent. Parents start to experience the relationship as challenging (beyond just being sleep deprived). |
These daily caring activities can become stressful experiences for both the child and the parent - neither of whom can make sense of what is happening.
As they grow, children can become “picky” about clothing, hugs, routine hygiene, and foods creating even more conflict and confusion.
As they grow, children can become “picky” about clothing, hugs, routine hygiene, and foods creating even more conflict and confusion.
Similarly, a school-aged child who has a genuine brain-based need for movement in order to remain alert and attentive may feel uncomfortable, drowsy and frustrated at having to sit constantly.Their efforts to seek needed movement, even to the point of falling off their chairs, can leave adults feeling annoyed. Attempts to help movement seekers understand that they need to "sit still" leave them confused because if they could, they would.
These kinds of misunderstandings can be resolved and underlying issues - needs for movement - can be addressed. This lets families move from conflict to connection. |
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When the parent is seen as the source of their discomfort and pain, the child can start to experience the parent as “unsafe”.This rupture of trust can hurt the parent-child relationship as the child struggles to make sense of their caregiver as being both the source of needed care (like food and protection) and the source of discomfort during daily activities intended to promote caring and connection.
As the child grows, the pattern persists and the child can become more controlling and rigid in seemingly all aspects of daily life. And the conflict continues. |
But it doesn't have to be that way!
Unfortunately, many parents reach out to me after they’ve tried all kinds of interventions and strategies with little success. Because my approach addresses the needs of the whole child, mind, body & spirit, in the context of their real world, it works.
Through a customized combination of assessment, consultation, and parent education, I help parents re-engage with their child to solve the problems of daily life and develop a more loving connection between them.
Direct work with children, through attachment focused, trauma-informed psychotherapy that incorporates emotionally focused individual therapy and Sandplay Therapy is also an option when to support each child's individual healing and development.
Unfortunately, many parents reach out to me after they’ve tried all kinds of interventions and strategies with little success. Because my approach addresses the needs of the whole child, mind, body & spirit, in the context of their real world, it works.
Through a customized combination of assessment, consultation, and parent education, I help parents re-engage with their child to solve the problems of daily life and develop a more loving connection between them.
Direct work with children, through attachment focused, trauma-informed psychotherapy that incorporates emotionally focused individual therapy and Sandplay Therapy is also an option when to support each child's individual healing and development.
Because...
"Warmth is the vital element for the growing plant and for the soul of the child."
~ C.G. Jung
"Warmth is the vital element for the growing plant and for the soul of the child."
~ C.G. Jung
If you’re ready to see how we might work together, I offer a free 30 minute consultation to make sure we’re a good fit.
Click the link below and book an Occupational Therapy Consultation today!
QUESTIONS PARENTS ASK ABOUT THERAPY
What are the top reasons parents seek therapy for children?
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Parents seek therapy for their children for many reasons. Whether or not they have a pre-existing developmental diagnosis. Any and all of the following reasons are excellent reasons to consult with a therapist:
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What if my child doesn't want to go to therapy?
It's completely understandable that a child may not feel ready to work with a therapist - any therapist. While it may be tempting to force the issue - sometimes it's important to "take charge - it may be more helpful to go slower to avoid getting into a conflict.
I recommend that parents begin the process by working with a children's therapist themselves to get a better understanding and explore strategies that they could implement to help their child. These kinds of therapeutic consultations can be useful to improve the:
I recommend that parents begin the process by working with a children's therapist themselves to get a better understanding and explore strategies that they could implement to help their child. These kinds of therapeutic consultations can be useful to improve the:
- parent-child relationship
- parents' understanding of their child's attachment needs
- parents' skill in supporting their child to work through difficult emotions and solve problems
- parents' ability to manage challenging behaviours
- alignment between parents on how to best approach and meet their child's needs
What's the most important predictor of a good therapy outcome?
While there are many therapeutic approaches, the research shows unequivocally, that the best predictor of a good outcome in therapy is the quality of the client-therapist relationship.
A healthy client-therapist relationship is one in which the client:
That doesn't necessarily mean that the therapist will never challenge you or disagree with you - that may be what you need to promote healing and growth - but it will be done with compassion and respect.
Another aspect of a healthy relationship is healthy boundaries. The therapist cares for you, but is not and cannot be your "friend". This means that the sessions are focused on you and your needs. The therapist only shares personal information if this might help you. The client-therapist relationship is one where the therapist is responsible to maintain these boundaries.
A healthy client-therapist relationship is one in which the client:
- feels safe to express their feelings, needs and perspectives
- feels seen, heard and understood by the therapist
- does not feel judged or belittled
- is treated with compassion, kindness and respect
That doesn't necessarily mean that the therapist will never challenge you or disagree with you - that may be what you need to promote healing and growth - but it will be done with compassion and respect.
Another aspect of a healthy relationship is healthy boundaries. The therapist cares for you, but is not and cannot be your "friend". This means that the sessions are focused on you and your needs. The therapist only shares personal information if this might help you. The client-therapist relationship is one where the therapist is responsible to maintain these boundaries.
How will I know if we are a good "fit"?
Your sense of whether or not you felt seen, heard and understood during an initial consultation session with a therapist should give you the information you need to decide whether or not you would want to open up any further with a therapist. Remember that therapy is not a friendship. It is not a "two-way street" where both parties talk about their personal lives.
A therapist is there for you - to hear you, see you, understand you, help you. Is the therapist you're meeting someone you feel could do that for you?
A therapist is there for you - to hear you, see you, understand you, help you. Is the therapist you're meeting someone you feel could do that for you?
What is a typical therapy process?
I begin with an initial (free) consultation. We'll discuss your needs and, if I don't think I have the right skill set (or if I know how you can access the support you need through the public health system), I will refer you on to a better option. If I feel I can be helpful, I will let you know what that might look like. If, in the course of our conversation, you feel comfortable enough with me to want to work with. me, I will provide you with next steps to book your initial (assessment) appointment.
As with all therapy, it begins with setting a direction. This means we need to get clear on your goals for therapy. It is important for us to both know why you want to work with a therapist and what you are hoping to achieve - what you would like to be able to do better in your life. When we are both clear on your goals, we can make the most of our sessions to help you move your life in the direction of those goals.
As part of the process of getting clear on your goals, we'll complete an assessment. This may include my getting to know more about your childhood development and early life experiences, your sensory preferences and needs, your executive functioning (thinking and planning) skills, and your relationships and attachment patterns.
These pieces of information will inform my ability to create a flexible plan so that we are both aware of the kinds of strategies you might encounter in our therapy sessions. This can include (but not be limited to):
As our sessions progress, we will specifically discuss your goals from time to time to ensure that these goals remain important and adjust them if needs or life circumstances change, as they often do.
At each session, I am monitoring and updating my sense of where you are and how you are progressing in your healing and growth so I can adjust my approach or recommendations to support you best.
Ideally, especially for children, if there is a need for therapy to terminate prematurely, it is best to have a "final session" to allow a healthy closure for the therapeutic relationship. For that reason, planning for closure is important.
As with all therapy, it begins with setting a direction. This means we need to get clear on your goals for therapy. It is important for us to both know why you want to work with a therapist and what you are hoping to achieve - what you would like to be able to do better in your life. When we are both clear on your goals, we can make the most of our sessions to help you move your life in the direction of those goals.
As part of the process of getting clear on your goals, we'll complete an assessment. This may include my getting to know more about your childhood development and early life experiences, your sensory preferences and needs, your executive functioning (thinking and planning) skills, and your relationships and attachment patterns.
These pieces of information will inform my ability to create a flexible plan so that we are both aware of the kinds of strategies you might encounter in our therapy sessions. This can include (but not be limited to):
- Holistic Lifestyle Design interventions
- Emotionally Focused (Individual) Therapy
- Kalffian Sandplay Therapy
- PolyVagal Informed Therapy
- Compassionate Inquiry
- Sensory processing
- Executive functioning
- Psychoeducation
- Caregiver consultations
As our sessions progress, we will specifically discuss your goals from time to time to ensure that these goals remain important and adjust them if needs or life circumstances change, as they often do.
At each session, I am monitoring and updating my sense of where you are and how you are progressing in your healing and growth so I can adjust my approach or recommendations to support you best.
Ideally, especially for children, if there is a need for therapy to terminate prematurely, it is best to have a "final session" to allow a healthy closure for the therapeutic relationship. For that reason, planning for closure is important.
How should I prepare for therapy sessions?
Prepare for therapy sessions by leaving time to arrive to your session without feeling rushed. If the session is online (virtual), then take time before the session to make yourself a cup of tea or grab a healthy snack and get comfortable at your computer or tablet. Log on a few minutes early so that you can check that your technology is working and think about (or jot down) what you might want to discuss.
If we're meeting in-person, be sure to give yourself enough travel time so you aren't rushed. Make sure you're not hungry.
If you have an important topic or concern to discuss, bring that up at the start of the session so that it doesn't become an afterthought. Your priorities come first!
If we're meeting in-person, be sure to give yourself enough travel time so you aren't rushed. Make sure you're not hungry.
If you have an important topic or concern to discuss, bring that up at the start of the session so that it doesn't become an afterthought. Your priorities come first!
Will there be therapy homework?
It depends.
"Homework" in therapy will depend largely on the type of therapy you are doing.
When I work with children and adults, the homework I assign may incude:
But, it's important to know that homework is not always necessary. Or helpful.
In the case of Sandplay Therapy, for instance, the work we do in the sand tray is deep psychological work and the mind, heart and soul will need time to rest and integrate that work without interruption, distraction or extra effort.
"Homework" in therapy will depend largely on the type of therapy you are doing.
When I work with children and adults, the homework I assign may incude:
- implementing strategies to improve some aspect of your lifestyle
- a specific relaxation or creative activity practice
- increasing your awareness about some aspect of your life
- practicing a specific skill in a specific context of your life
- reading a book or completing a mini-course to further your learning
But, it's important to know that homework is not always necessary. Or helpful.
In the case of Sandplay Therapy, for instance, the work we do in the sand tray is deep psychological work and the mind, heart and soul will need time to rest and integrate that work without interruption, distraction or extra effort.
How would we know we're ready to be done therapy?
As part of establishing a care plan, we will track your progress towards your self-selected/agreed upon goals at regular intervals. There will come a point when it not only "looks complete", but "feels" complete.
You may notice that you see improvements or decreases in functioning early on. These are not indicators of "success" or "harm" - simply of "progress". Things may get worse before they get better; and things may get rapidly better, but only temporarily. Continued engagement in the process is needed for lasting positive outcomes.
You may notice that you see improvements or decreases in functioning early on. These are not indicators of "success" or "harm" - simply of "progress". Things may get worse before they get better; and things may get rapidly better, but only temporarily. Continued engagement in the process is needed for lasting positive outcomes.
What is your background & experience in working with children with neurodiverse needs?
- I have worked with children and families with neurodiversity almost exclusively since 1999 in a variety of roles and contexts as an Occupational Therapist focused on supporting the needs of children with emotional/behavioural/mental health struggles, their parents (often working with their own neurodiversities), and their professional caregivers.
- I have been providing psychotherapy to neurodiverse children and families (with emotional/behavioural challenges) for over a decade in schools and in outpatient clinic settings.
What is sandplay therapy?
Kalffian Sandplay Therapy is a form of non-verbal (no talking required!) therapy that was developed by Dora Kalff. Dora was a Jungian analyst. She applied her analytic training to sand tray therapy.
Therapy begins with developing a positive therapeutic relationship between the client (child or adult) and therapist so the client has a safe space to express their drive to heal and grow through the creation of sand pictures.
Kalffian Sandplay Therapy uses a sand box, objects and toys that represent all aspects of life. Clients create sand pictures without any direction from the therapist. The client is free to talk about anything they wish while or after creating their sand picture, but this is not required.
It's important to know that clients can experience an increase in challenging symptoms as therapy begins. This happens in most forms of therapy when issues that have been boxed up and put on the shelf are brought down and opened. Things get worse before they get better.
The goal for Sandplay Therapy is beyond symptom reduction or management, but true healing and growth in the longer term.
Therapy begins with developing a positive therapeutic relationship between the client (child or adult) and therapist so the client has a safe space to express their drive to heal and grow through the creation of sand pictures.
Kalffian Sandplay Therapy uses a sand box, objects and toys that represent all aspects of life. Clients create sand pictures without any direction from the therapist. The client is free to talk about anything they wish while or after creating their sand picture, but this is not required.
It's important to know that clients can experience an increase in challenging symptoms as therapy begins. This happens in most forms of therapy when issues that have been boxed up and put on the shelf are brought down and opened. Things get worse before they get better.
The goal for Sandplay Therapy is beyond symptom reduction or management, but true healing and growth in the longer term.
