Making Sense of Sensory Sensitivity & Neurodiversity
Understanding sensory sensitivity can help you make sense of emotions and behaviours that aren’t explained by neurodevelopmental diagnoses alone.
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The brain essentially does four things.First it takes care of all the complicated things we don’t want to think about to keep our body functioning. Regulating our heart rate, blood pressure, breathing, digesting food, all the while communicating with our body to figure out how best to do that.
Secondly, it takes in and makes sense of all the sensory information that comes from the world around us. This is “input”. |
Third, it compares sensory information with everything we’ve learned from our experiences so that we can either ignore it or put it to use in some meaningful way. This would be “throughput”.
And finally, it makes use of that information in a coordinated way by choosing and enacting what we say or do to move us closer to our goals. This is output.
And finally, it makes use of that information in a coordinated way by choosing and enacting what we say or do to move us closer to our goals. This is output.
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Because your brain is wired by millions of years of evolution to prioritize keeping us alive, the kinds of sensory information that gets the most attention in your brains is the stuff that seems to pose a threat to our safety and survival.
Of course, that’s important! After all, there’s no point in thinking about math or your taxes if you're not alive. When you accurately perceive threats - even something as simple as feeling that mosquito land and swatting it away - you keep yourself healthy and safe. You defend yourself. You have fleeting moments of life feeling uncomfortable - a little stress - but you are able to address it and move on. But imagine if your sensory systems were overly sensitive to the information coming in. Imagine if that clothing tag on the back of your neck felt like a tarantula. Or the fluffies in your socks felt like shards of glass. What then? Well, then, you’re much more likely to be living in a state of constant stress. But where swatting a mosquito may seem reasonable to others, having a meltdown because your sock has fluffies in them seems completely ridiculous. But for you it’s not. It really feels unsafe. Sensory sensitivities can be perplexing. Often overlooked, overly sensitive children and adults have levels of discomfort, anxiety, distress, and overwhelm in situations that feel “perfectly normal“ to others. |
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What is sensory sensitivity? The simplest definition of sensory sensitivity is an unusually strong negative, fearful response to something that is otherwise safe, not toxic, and not noxious in any way. It is the perception of a safe sensation as being threatening or genuinely harmful.
That’s why, to the hypersensitive person, the seam in your socks feels like glass shards. And why the clothing tag in your neck feels like a tarantula just landed on your back. Or why that gentle kiss on your cheek feels like a slap. For someone with a hypersensitive tactile (or touch) system, this is how they experience the world. |
Additionally, children and adults may be hypersensitive to things they see, hear, smell, or taste. And even sensitive to the experience of movement against gravity (climbing a ladder), or distances and speeds (like playground equipment and amusement park rides).
That makes the potential for sensory hypersensitive experiences almost endless!
Over the course of a busy day, in the typical multi-sensory environments we live in, our sensory systems are bombarded. A person with an overly sensitive sensory system would experience these normal sensations as highly threatening.
That makes the potential for sensory hypersensitive experiences almost endless!
Over the course of a busy day, in the typical multi-sensory environments we live in, our sensory systems are bombarded. A person with an overly sensitive sensory system would experience these normal sensations as highly threatening.
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And what happens when you feel threatened? You experience a sympathetic stress response, otherwise known as fight, flee, or freeze. Your behaviour reflects these stress states.
In fight, you might find yourself yelling, screaming, kicking, shouting, punching, hitting or generally being out of control with your body or words. In flight, you try to avoid or actively run away from what you perceive as threatening. And when you’re truly overwhelmed, you shut down. This can look like passive avoidance, but more often it can represent a very high state of stress and not a deliberate attempt to be “difficult“ or defiant. When parents and other caregivers don’t understand what’s happening for their highly sensitive child, they continue to place “average“ demands on the child and are understandably confused by the emotionally distraught behaviours that result. Most perplexing to the parent is that their child’s emotional outbursts are unexpected, unpredictable, and disproportionate to what just happened. It’s the last grain of rice that tips the scale. |
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When a child or adult is stressed by the average experiences of daily life, there’s no way to predict when they’ve reached their limit. So, the very last thing that happens, even something truly minor, is just that last grain of rice. The response may seem disproportionate, but not if you consider all the other stressful sensory experiences of their day.
A child who is at the limit of being able to cope with their life may throw a colossal tantrum because their brother tapped them on the shoulder to get their attention.
Living with sensory sensitivity is a bit like having to carry a mug that’s constantly being filled with corrosive acid. You have no control over how fast this acid pours in and you’re not sure how to empty it before it overflows and burns you.
You’re may not even be aware that you could empty the cup at all.
A child who is at the limit of being able to cope with their life may throw a colossal tantrum because their brother tapped them on the shoulder to get their attention.
Living with sensory sensitivity is a bit like having to carry a mug that’s constantly being filled with corrosive acid. You have no control over how fast this acid pours in and you’re not sure how to empty it before it overflows and burns you.
You’re may not even be aware that you could empty the cup at all.
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To make matters more complicated, while not a diagnostic criterion, sensory hypersensitivity (along with other sensory processing disorders) can be present as part of other neurodevelopmental diagnoses.
This includes, but is not limited to anxiety disorders, autism spectrum disorder, attention deficit/hyperactivity disorder, fetal alcohol syndrome and oppositional defiance disorder. The longer the issue goes undiagnosed, the more confusion and conflict can take place between the hypersensitive child and loving, well-intentioned, but uninformed caregivers. |
Often this impacts a child’s ability to:
Over time, the more often a child experiences shifts into fight, flight or freeze states, the more likely it is that this stress state becomes a way of being in the world. They seem like they have an irritable, easily annoyed temperament. And they’re often difficult to soothe.
To manage the chronic sense of threat and anxiety they feel, sensory sensitive children can become more picky, rigid, avoidant and defiant. This is especially true if their default response is fight or flight.
But if they go into freeze mode, they may just look like children who need more stimulation – something to wake them up and engage them. Unfortunately, that only increases the child’s sense of threat and overwhelm. That’s why it’s especially important to understand the sensory processing needs of children who seem passively avoidant.
- develop life skills such as self-feeding, dressing, bathing, and brushing teeth
- engage successfully with others in developmentally appropriate environments like school, grocery stores, or playgrounds
- learn and participate fully in school life
- manage emotions in socially appropriate ways for a child’s age
Over time, the more often a child experiences shifts into fight, flight or freeze states, the more likely it is that this stress state becomes a way of being in the world. They seem like they have an irritable, easily annoyed temperament. And they’re often difficult to soothe.
To manage the chronic sense of threat and anxiety they feel, sensory sensitive children can become more picky, rigid, avoidant and defiant. This is especially true if their default response is fight or flight.
But if they go into freeze mode, they may just look like children who need more stimulation – something to wake them up and engage them. Unfortunately, that only increases the child’s sense of threat and overwhelm. That’s why it’s especially important to understand the sensory processing needs of children who seem passively avoidant.
What happens if sensory sensitivity is not addressed? When sensory hypersensitivities are not addressed, children often become more anxious, argumentative, and defiant. The parent-child relationship becomes conflictual, and children experience life as one painful (potentially traumatic) experience after another.
If children have gone years without their sensory hypersensitivities being understood and addressed, they become anxious, irritable, easily frustrated adults who don’t understand that others do not experience the world the same way they do. How could they? They only know what they know. This often leads to difficulties in adult relationships, workplaces, and life in general. Diagnoses of anxiety disorders and depression are likely outcomes. |
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But there is help for sensory sensitivity!
Completing a clinically meaningful sensory assessment (way beyond a checklist) is vital to understand a child’s emotional experience and behavioural responses. This allows parents and other caregivers to meet their child’s needs for comfort and care in ways that feel comforting and caring to the child.
A thorough sensory assessment includes a detailed history of pregnancy, childbirth, and early childhood developmental milestones. While genetics and epigenetics are key contributing factors, lived experiences – particularly traumatic ones at any time in life – can create and heighten sensitivities.
Once there is an understanding of the child’s experience, parents can then co-create:
A thorough sensory assessment includes a detailed history of pregnancy, childbirth, and early childhood developmental milestones. While genetics and epigenetics are key contributing factors, lived experiences – particularly traumatic ones at any time in life – can create and heighten sensitivities.
Once there is an understanding of the child’s experience, parents can then co-create:
- relationships that are attuned and responsive to their child’s (sensory, social, emotional, attachment, and developmental) needs
- environments that provide stability, predictability, respite, and support so they can have the “down time” they need for optimal learning, development and functioning on a daily basis
- lifestyles that help a child feel grounded and safe to combat their frequently triggered stress responses, while still challenging their growth and development
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What about the rest of your family?When one member of the family is anxious, picky, rigid and defiant, because the world feels overwhelming, it is quite likely that other family members have been asked to accommodate in attempts to avoid “triggering” upsets. This invariably can lead to frustration and resentments.
Your excitable, outgoing child has to be extra quiet to avoid overwhelming your sensitive child. Or, as a parent, you must be less enthusiastic and playful than you enjoy being. Suppressing your joyful nature doesn’t feel great. That’s why interventions can’t just end with meeting the needs of just one child in a family. |
All family members have sensory processing needs and preferences that also need to be addressed. Addressing the whole family’s needs supports the whole family’s functioning.
If this is your experience or you’re wondering if sensory sensitivities are impacting your, your child’s or your family's life, help is available. As an OT and psychotherapist, the links between these sensory experiences and challenges with development, relationships and daily functioning is often the core of my practice with neurodiverse individuals. Connecting the dots between the impact that sensory sensitivity can have on children, parents, families and adult life might be just what you're needing to turn the corner.
If this is your experience or you’re wondering if sensory sensitivities are impacting your, your child’s or your family's life, help is available. As an OT and psychotherapist, the links between these sensory experiences and challenges with development, relationships and daily functioning is often the core of my practice with neurodiverse individuals. Connecting the dots between the impact that sensory sensitivity can have on children, parents, families and adult life might be just what you're needing to turn the corner.
